Harry never goes out of season! I'm a big fan, which is why I find these so amusing. This list was written by my friend and fellow poet, Mike Biegner of Easthampton.
15 Ways To Annoy Your Friends Who Love Harry Potter
-1- Call Professor Dumbledor "Professor Dum Dum".
-2- Suggest that in a duel, Samantha Stevens from "Bewitched" would kick Harry's ass.
-3- Confuse the Lord of the Rings Trilogy details with those of the Harry Potter series of books repeatedly by saying things like: "Remember when Gandalf and Voldemort were fighting and the Orcs took over the Hogwartz School of Wizzardry in the Town of Rivendale?"
-4- Wonder out loud to your friends if Harry Potter was not in fact the secret love child of Colonel Sherman Potter and Hot Lips Houlihan from the TV series M.A.S.H.
-5- Suggest to your friends that Harry should consider a line of Prada eyewear instead of those horrid round glasses.
-6- Tell your friends that if Weezie Jefferson married Ron Weasly her name would have been "Weezie Weasly".
-7- Inform your friends that "muggles" are what Fraggles drink beer from.
-8- Whenever speaking about Harry, refer to him as "Mr. Pot-Tare" the way Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington did in the TV Series "Welcome Back Kotter".
-9- Suggest that Andi McDowell would have made a better Voldemort than Ray Fiennes.
-10- Refer to the author, J K Rowling as "J J Walker" and tell people you think she is "Dyno-Mite!"
-11- Repeat every 15 minutes to your friends that "Hermione rhymes with 'hiney'."
-12- Insist to your friends that you saw the actor who plays Professor Dumbldor on a TV infomercial for Viagra, talking about his "limp wand" problem.
-13- Tell your friends that Quiddich is not a real sport, like golf, NASCAR, horse racing, bowling and poker.
-14- Wonder out loud to your friends where Harry takes his invisibility cloak to be dry cleaned.
-15- Order the last Harry Potter book UPS ground and then when it finally DOES arrive, read only a few pages per day.
No comments:
Post a Comment